Towards the ceremony

You can’t really process your feelings fully when you are in an intensive one-year study program. I felt surreal that we actually had spent almost one year, passing through classes, and pushed ourselves to our limit.

I started my day by staying grounded. It felt kind of like our daily routine. I came to have lunch in the cafeteria. We gossiped about silly things. Mikko, Bee, Burak, Mohammad, and I played kabul like the usual. I went to visit my supervisors to talk which made me feel warm even before the ceremony (they are very kind!).

However, the highlight of the pre-ceremony activities would be taking down our section poster. Every year, they hang new posters of the diploma students in the hallway. It is a meaningful poster for many reasons. I often laugh at it because formal pictures usually don’t give us true justice. Somehow, we had an inside joke that we can use those pictures as our Bumble profile picture (yes, we often had weird conversations).

I couldn’t bear to think that our poster would be thrown out, so we took it away! Bee and Burak were always someone I can rely on to do unusual things together. We’re probably the only ones who took down a poster. Manuela, our program secretary, sounded confused when we asked for the permission to take it away. Now, the poster is kept safely in my family house back in Indonesia!

Ceremony and speeches

Bee and I prepared our speeches for the ceremony. We reviewed each other’s scripts beforehand, which honestly helped me gather my courage.

I wrote my script to fulfill a promise I made to myself before coming to Trieste:

I’m speaking here because I made a promise to myself exactly one year ago. It was the days before my flight to come here and I found myself watching the graduation ceremony, hoping to get a glimpse of the life I will have here.

My biggest concern at that time was to adapt in such an international environment. I simply could not comprehend what it will feel like to be the only Indonesian in the room. To live in a completely new country with all strangers at first.

If any upcoming diploma student is watching this and having a similar concern, my promise was to tell you to stop your worry. This is because what was my biggest concern turns out to be the thing I loved the most here. It’s always remarkable to see how easy it is to find companionship from other diploma students. In the end of the day, we’re just young adults with dreams and love to our own study. Don’t be scared to put yourselves out there, reach out first to others, and you will be surprised on how much you will receive back without knowing.

Along my message to the next students, this is also an extension of my gratitude to my friends here. Thank you for enriching my life here, grounding me down when I needed it. We carry each other in our academic pursuit, but more than that you give meaning and excitement to my life here. I am not always a brave person, but some of you are truly the reason I can bring myself this far until the end of this program.

I often think about the tiny details of my life here. In the morning before starting our class, we would greet each other with at least five different languages. We celebrate our wins and losses with a spread of cooking from different nationalities. During my restless nights, I would come down and wander around our apartment’s kitchen, then I found myself being cheered up by a random peer. I know I am rich in life to be able to hold memories like this.

Lastly, I am extending my thank you to each staff in ICTP who’s supported our study here. I thank each research scientist, postdoc, and PhD student who are patient in sharing their knowledge to us.

I also extend my thanks to any staff–from the secretariat to accomodation–who truly made our life and paperwork here felt seamless. You are probably aware of this, but truly it’s amazing that you’re changing young people’s life every year by letting us study here.

Cheers to our hard work on this wonderful year. For the graduating diploma students, congratulations and here’s to the sacrifices and memories we’ve made until now.

I said this a lot, but truly I adore Bee’s speech. I believe it represents our feelings. I have heard good feedbacks from many people about it and I hope you can see our passion from its speech.

When I first arrived at Italy, I felt that I was making the worst mistake of my life. That I never should have left my family. That I didn’t belong here.

And it’s so ironic, now that I’m here, that I don’t want to leave. This past year has been earth-shattering. Because of ICTP, I have a better vision of not only who I am, but who I could be.

And when I say ICTP, I want to clarify that I mean YOU. I mean the people, the community, the friendships that make this institution what it is. I’ve learned a lot, of course, from this well-planned programme; from the amazing and passionate lecturers that inspire me to keep treading this path. But I have also learned indispensible lessons from my fellow diploma students. From Nata, I learned to be optimistic, and to always be truly and genuinely yourself. I also learned how to play 24, Chapsa, The Bluffing Game, and Kabul, to name a few.

From Lucy, I learned to take no insult or injury, to know your worth and readily defend it. I also learned how to play volleyball.

From Ari, I learned to live like you will die young, to take the risk for the memory.

From Cedric, I learned the weight of small gestures, like waiting for someone or slowing down for them. He also taught me that hell is not hell if you have a friend with you.

From Nar, I learned the importance of asking ‘how are you,’ and treating everyone like family, even before you know them.

From Penda, I learned to never let a language barrier get in the way of your goals. I also learned the beauty of cooking for your friends.

And from Burak, I learned to believe in my own capabilities; to have patience and trust in my journey, because I am someone that can be relied on.

I learned so much! I learned about Latin American politics from John. I learned how to strategize in card games from William. I learned how to play DnD from Mohammad. I could go on and on about how the little moments I spent with everyone moved me in subtle ways, but cumulatively shaped me. And the only reason this is possible is because ICTP brought us all here together in this magnanimous yet bittersweet opportunity.

I know it’s easy to think of science as the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge’s sake, as tireless discovery, and conquering the unknown, but in reality, science is nothing without community. A community that fosters a wonder-driven attitude towards learning, that nourishes passion in the hearts of every student, and that sees in each and every member: a reflection of themselves. We are scientists with value, with integrity, and advocacy. Forgive me for being sappy, but science is nothing without love.

Thank you ICTP, all of you, for giving me the chance to be part of this wonderful community.

Congratulations, everyone, and in the words of the budding scientists of my batch: happy birthday!

It is clear from our speeches that we adored our time studying in ICTP. I had never felt this content and grateful by completing something. It was remarkable to feel everything: proud and happy, but also deeply sad to know our end. I rarely posted a self portrait, but Adie captured my contentness at the end of the ceremony.

Receiving a prize

Each year, the institution choose one or two students among the diploma cohort to receive a prize from their life-long supporters. At the beginning of the program, this prize sounds like an urban legend to me. How can you be the best among these amazing students? I have never met students who are as hard-working as them. Most importantly, I finally found peers who share the same passion to our research.

When I was told that I might get the prize, I could only think of my friends. Cedric was an important person in my academic pursuit there. He answered any questions–even the “dumb” ones–from me. I can trust that he can understand my questions despite my language barrier. I think of the allocated time during the christmas break studying for an upcoming exam with Nar as my company and motivation. I looked for Bee to explain topics from seismology that intrigues me. Lucy knew almost anything about the atmosphere and ocean, she made our classes more interesting. I could geek out about computation stuff with Ari. Generally, I can’t seperate my achievement from the great people who surrounded me.

Anyway, to summarize my feelings, this is my gratitude message to the prize host which extends as my reflection after receiving the prize:

Two days ago was a very happy day for me. It was a happy day to celebrate the achievements of my colleagues in this program, but it was also a special day for me to receive the prize under your name.

I often reflect on what this prize means to me. I know I’m not the smartest person. I learned a lot from my colleagues here, and I was able to do my best because we supported each other. However, I do know one thing: I always try to put my utmost care into my work.

One unique thing about our section classes is that we present a lot. Our instructors often give us the flexibility to present a paper or work on a mini project about a topic of our choice. This also includes our dissertation, where they are open to discussing the topic with us.

Because of this, my mindset throughout this program has always been about choosing a topic that is important to me and giving my best to learn about it. Most of the time, it’s been about a phenomenon from my country. And it’s not surprising, because I have always known that I wanted to tackle environmental problems. So, starting locally in Indonesia is the first natural step for me to take.

I like to think that this prize is a sign that I’m doing the right thing. I want to keep doing climate research, and essentially, I want to always care about our Earth and give back to my country.

Thank you for supporting me, but also, thank you for supporting this diploma program. It changed my life. And after spending a year with my colleagues here, I can only be in awe of how much ICTP has changed each of our lives.

Rewatch our video tribute here!

An ICTP staff, Filippo Blasetti, curated pictures submitted by the students as a tribute video. It is definitely one of the best gifts that they can give us. I am also in love with the Garfield tribute in the end! I immortalized the video here.